C230J

Once upon a time…back before I started this Couch to 5k adventure, it was a dark & stormy night…and it was too goddamn sultry in here. Seriously, I used to watch other people run & wonder why the hell they liked torturing themselves. Think about runners…there they are slogging away on the side of the road, doing their very best Orestes-fleeing-before-the-Furies impersonation; looking absolutely miserable…how can they possibly say they’re having “fun?”

After Friday’s run, I will be an “official graduate” of the C25k program & entitled to all rights & honors conferred upon such individuals. So far, those appear to be 1) sweaty feet, 2) a compulsion to own “just one more pair” of compression shorts, 3) a similar desire to purchase “Sock Guy” socks (they wick moisture – see honor #1), 4) being referred to as “arm candy,” & 5) a smaller pant size.

I can’t help but think, though, that I haven’t actually MET the 5k distance. I have followed the program. I was terrified of the first “10 minute run” & now I can run for 30 minutes. The maximum distance I’ve actually covered in those 30 minutes is 2.5 miles. In my mind, they should rename this program “Couch to 30 Minute Jogger.” C230J. On the other hand, perhaps I’m just slow…

I’ve also decided that running is the anti-yoga. Nothing gets you better in touch with your breath than yoga, that’s widely accepted. However, I’ve noticed that when I am mindful of my breath while running, it actually makes breathing harder. That makes no fricking sense to me. Therefore, I have to focus on my tunes & the landscape I’m powering through and let my lungs worry about the oxygenation. It is, after all, what they do best.

This morning was a tough run. My body was battling with me for the first 10 minutes. My legs said “No, no, no, dammit!” My lungs did their best to convince me I was killing myself, gasping irregularly, desperately. Even my mind was divided – one half whining, “What they hell is wrong with you, child?” & the other half barking, “Fall in line, bitches, we have WORK to do!” Fortunately, that one small, determined part of me won out & I chugged through 2.5 miles. I even conquered my neighborhood nemesis, the somewhat steep & moderately long hill on Eastview Terrace. And I’m hoping, hoping, that Friday I can “really graduate” & hit that magical 3.1. So close…I have just over a month until I run in my first “real” 5k, but still…

So, are runners having “fun?” The answer – they’re not. OK, maybe a few are, but I’m guessing more than most are like me. Last week, on a solo, lunchtime tour of the roads around my place of employment, I began to suffer. I instantly realized that I was now one of those people – those I had ridiculed. That I had “that look” of red-faced desperation on my face as I kept pushing myself, mental spatula stinging, for the last 5 minutes of my run. Runners flee from their Furies…their jobs, their children, their spouses, their obligations…even if they love those people, those hours, & all that shit, they are still demons & running is a brief respite. In addition, it can help a “Slug” become “arm candy.” At least for a little while…

An aside...

I sat down to work on my 5k blog & instead, wandered over to my friend Anne's blog & then my friend Darren's blog. On Darren's blog I confessed my hatred of Danielle Steel in not one, but TWO (count 'em!) comments. One was made in error. Though the contents were still true. From Darren's blog, I stumbled on this other dude's blog. His name is Dale. He's fucking funny.

http://dalebridges.org/blawg/

I love Dale.

Just like Chong...

Well, I am finally getting my groove back…back injury is behind me and, as of tomorrow, I will be all caught up in my C25k program…so here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for – playlist time!

What makes a song a good “running” song? The answer is obviously very personal. One of my running buddies just needs a good rhythm to keep her feet moving. Others probably need inspirational lyrics to boost their spirits. Because spirits can definitely sag while you’re out there running…sag, sag, sag…But for me, it’s all about the bass line. I need a bass line that pushes. It can be repetitive, but it must drive. Without it, I am hopelessly unmotivated. And that pushing bass line can arrive wrapped in a surprising package. This is a partial listing from my running playlist…

The obvious picks:
Garbage – As Heaven Is Wide, Bad Boyfriend, & I Think I’m Paranoid
Shirley Manson’s growling voice over classic rock rhythms
The Smashing Pumpkins – Ava Adore - can’t go wrong with Billy
U2 – Bullet the Blue Sky, Discotheque, Get On Your Boots, Gloria, Electric Co, Hawkmoon 269, Like A Song, Magnificent – and is it OK that I picture my darling Larry Mullen instead of Bono?
Muse – Uprising – great bass line AND empowering lyrics – a plus!

The “new” stuff:
Franz Ferdinand – No You Girls – the rhythm of this song makes me walk
with more pep! It definitely propels the jogging!
Finger Eleven – Paralyzer – doesn’t everyone want to affect someone
like that girl gets to him?
Silversun Pickups – Panic Switch – simply a great tune!

The “silly” stuff:
Matthew Sweet – Break My Stride – classic 80s chemical cheese
Ricky Martin - Cup of Life – has already been discussed
They Might Be Giants – Don’t Let’s Start – just listen to it & you’ll know
No Doubt – Hella Good – can help you feel good even when you most
certainly DO NOT

The “surprise” packages:
Tori Amos – Caught a Lite Sneeze & Cornflake Girl – up-tempo but
relaxing, good for remembering not to get too tight in the legs/butt
Ice Cube – Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster – ‘nuff said
Fiona Apple – Fast As You Can – rhythm and lyrics keep you moving
Ween – Voodoo Lady – great, great song – keeps me going & laughing
Cypress Hill – Hits from the Bong – seriously, have you HEARD it lately?
It has the same affect on me that the Tori Amos tracks have, but
magnified by the power of suggestion! What’s better than a mental
“hit from the bong?” OK, yeah sure, but I’m not into that!

I’ll leave you with some choice words…

Pick it, pack it
Fire it up, come along…

Sing my song, puff all night long
As I take hits from the bong…

Don't get me stirred up the smoke, through the bub-bling water
Is makin' it pure so I gotta, take my hit and hold it
Just like Chong, I hit the bowl and I reload it
Get my four-footer and bring it on
As I take hits from the bong

Hits from the bong
Gonna get high
Hits from the bong
Gonna get high
Hits from the bong
Gonna get high

See? Told you it was personal…now you’ve been a little too far inside my mind.

Play list? I think not

So, this post was supposed to be about my running play list. It should be about why I’m a terrible blogger. Instead, it’s going to be about setbacks. Sigh.

On Monday, July 12, 2010, I began Week 7 of the Couch to 5k program. On Wednesday, July 14, 2010, I finished Day 2 or Week 7. My assignment – brisk 5 minute warm up followed by a 25 minute jog. I left the house at 6 am. The temp? 75 degrees. The humidity? 94%. Yeah. Not quite sultry, but…still. I put on my water wings & out I went. Tore it UP. Sprinted across the main road & down to the cemetery. Felt the “we’re glad we’re not you, but you keep chugging, kiddo” energy of the spirits pushing me along. Came home and…

In an attempt to help my husband & son get out the door on time, I went to the basement to empty the dehumidifier. I carried the bucket towards the toilet bowl, bent my knees (like I’m supposed to!), and prepared to dump away. Then spent the next 5-10 minutes crying on my basement floor in agony. I have a terrible back, have I mentioned that?

Three days of 3,000 mg of ibuprofen and two visits to my chiropractor/physical therapist later…I could walk. I could sit up for awhile. And I missed completing Week 7. So, I went to Sonic & got a corn dog instead. Oh, and some ice cream…

Today is Monday, July 19, 2010. I see my doctor again today. I’m still on a ton of Vitamin I. But maybe I’ll be back on track by the end of this week, which should be the end of Week 8, but…who knows where I’ll need to go back to. Fortunately, the 5k I’ve chosen is not until the end of September. It’s a fundraiser for Parkinson’s disease research. And I’m going to make it…

Bloggin' about runnin'

Because I have time right now AND because I just finished getting caught up on reading it, I am posting a link to my buddy Darren's blog. He's a more serious runner than I am (at least at this point!) and a more serious (read: professional) writer. Nevertheless, enjoy!

http://www.darrencormier.com/scribblings-and-bibblings-blog.html

A PSA about shoes

Tuesday, June 29. I have finished Week 4 & started Week 5. By the end of this week, I "should" be able to jog for 20 minutes straight. No walking!! Wowza! Tomorrow, I do two 8 minute intervals. And this is where I give thanks to my most awesome & super comfy running shoes.

Yes, a word about running shoes. I would feel horrid if I didn't mention them - the one piece of equipment necessary to running. OK, not necessary if you buy into the whole "running barefoot" business. If you do, then skip this part - you're braver than I am! I'll preface this by saying that I have flat feet (born that way) & a bad back (courtesy of a horse I got launched off of in 1993. My doctors gave their blessing to this endeavor as long as I got a "proper pair of shoes." What do I know about running shoes? Squat. What do I know about shopping? Plenty. Enter "Fleet Feet Sports" in West Hartford, CT. They were recommended by my marathon-running gym buddy. So, prepared to spend a million dollars, I went. The staff is SUPER nice. The girl who worked with me watched me walk around the store in my "normal" shoes (Converse All Stars, baby!) and then in a series of running shoes with all sorts of bizarro, Japanese sports car sounding names. She was prepared to make the run on their treadmill. Luckily, I avoided that! She never mentioned prices. Just watched me walk, gave me other pairs, asked me which ones felt best to me. We both agreed on the pair I bought. Asics. Cost? Just one Benjamin Franklin. Much less than I expected to pay. My feet don't hurt when I jog...neither does my back. Even if you're 100% healthy, find yourself a "Fleet Feet" type place & get the right shoes for YOU. It's important. Get over it.

Conclude PSA. This week, I chose an "anthem" for this C25k experience. Many will laugh. I don't care. It is Ricky Martin's "Cup of Life." I like the full Spanish "La Copa de la Vida" version, but the spanglish one is in my iPod. It's got a great Latin beat & inspiring lyrics, especially good for a slug like me. In an oddly timely coincidence, it was the official song of the 1998 World Cup. So there, scoffers. I will leave you with my favorite lyrics from my new "anthem" & promise a discussion of my C25k playlist next week.

Do you really want it?

The cup of life, this is the one. Now is the time, don't ever stop.
Push it along, gotta be strong. Push it along, right to the top

No one can hold you down if you really want it.
Just steal your destiny right from the hands of fate.
Reach for the cup of life 'cause your name is on it!

I don't want to run a 5K!

Let’s just say I didn’t decide to call this page “Slug to 5K” for nothing…if I was one of the Seven Deadly Sins, I’d be sloth. If “you are what you eat” is actually true, then I’m either a cheesy plate of nachos or a dark chocolate peanut M&M. My image of nirvana involves a beach, a hammock, a book & a margarita. I’m a lazy SOB. Three years ago, I had a son…
The infant lifestyle suited me for the most part – moving slowly, snoozing, and not noticing that I was scarfing Doritos while he was dining on pureed peas – but times change. Something had to give. So, about a year & a half ago, I joined the gym, scored a “gym buddy” & discovered a “love” of the elliptical machine. I have made strides to improve my diet – cut my Mt. Dew habit down to one or two cans a week, limiting my desserts to one a day (tough for a candy freak!), exploring the Lean Cuisine aisle, falling in love with Carnation Instant Breakfast & Fiber One bars…I have caffeinated water shipped in from Illinois for a no calorie hit of my drug of choice. I lost 15 pounds & a pant size.
Come February 2010, I needed a new challenge. I mentioned running to my gym buddy, a marathon runner. She suggested the “Couch to 5K” program. I said “I don’t want to run a 5K!” then looked into it…and bought some running shoes. Follow this link to check out the program: http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
This morning, I completed Day 3 of Week 3. I can jog for 3 minutes at a time without wanting to kill myself. As the mother of a wild & crazy preschooler, I crave quiet time. My “running” time provides 30 minutes of peace. I just jog along, listening to my tunes & the “coach” on the “Couch to 5K” app on my iPhone. I didn’t expect it, but I can “get out of my head.” And, even if I get up early to get my “jog” in before work, I am more Zen during the day. Holy crap.
So, welcome to “Slug to 5K” – a record of my journey…if all goes well, I’m actually going to RUN a 5K in September. But I’m still saying no to a marathon…