Once upon a time…back before I started this Couch to 5k adventure, it was a dark & stormy night…and it was too goddamn sultry in here. Seriously, I used to watch other people run & wonder why the hell they liked torturing themselves. Think about runners…there they are slogging away on the side of the road, doing their very best Orestes-fleeing-before-the-Furies impersonation; looking absolutely miserable…how can they possibly say they’re having “fun?”
After Friday’s run, I will be an “official graduate” of the C25k program & entitled to all rights & honors conferred upon such individuals. So far, those appear to be 1) sweaty feet, 2) a compulsion to own “just one more pair” of compression shorts, 3) a similar desire to purchase “Sock Guy” socks (they wick moisture – see honor #1), 4) being referred to as “arm candy,” & 5) a smaller pant size.
I can’t help but think, though, that I haven’t actually MET the 5k distance. I have followed the program. I was terrified of the first “10 minute run” & now I can run for 30 minutes. The maximum distance I’ve actually covered in those 30 minutes is 2.5 miles. In my mind, they should rename this program “Couch to 30 Minute Jogger.” C230J. On the other hand, perhaps I’m just slow…
I’ve also decided that running is the anti-yoga. Nothing gets you better in touch with your breath than yoga, that’s widely accepted. However, I’ve noticed that when I am mindful of my breath while running, it actually makes breathing harder. That makes no fricking sense to me. Therefore, I have to focus on my tunes & the landscape I’m powering through and let my lungs worry about the oxygenation. It is, after all, what they do best.
This morning was a tough run. My body was battling with me for the first 10 minutes. My legs said “No, no, no, dammit!” My lungs did their best to convince me I was killing myself, gasping irregularly, desperately. Even my mind was divided – one half whining, “What they hell is wrong with you, child?” & the other half barking, “Fall in line, bitches, we have WORK to do!” Fortunately, that one small, determined part of me won out & I chugged through 2.5 miles. I even conquered my neighborhood nemesis, the somewhat steep & moderately long hill on Eastview Terrace. And I’m hoping, hoping, that Friday I can “really graduate” & hit that magical 3.1. So close…I have just over a month until I run in my first “real” 5k, but still…
So, are runners having “fun?” The answer – they’re not. OK, maybe a few are, but I’m guessing more than most are like me. Last week, on a solo, lunchtime tour of the roads around my place of employment, I began to suffer. I instantly realized that I was now one of those people – those I had ridiculed. That I had “that look” of red-faced desperation on my face as I kept pushing myself, mental spatula stinging, for the last 5 minutes of my run. Runners flee from their Furies…their jobs, their children, their spouses, their obligations…even if they love those people, those hours, & all that shit, they are still demons & running is a brief respite. In addition, it can help a “Slug” become “arm candy.” At least for a little while…
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
An aside...
I sat down to work on my 5k blog & instead, wandered over to my friend Anne's blog & then my friend Darren's blog. On Darren's blog I confessed my hatred of Danielle Steel in not one, but TWO (count 'em!) comments. One was made in error. Though the contents were still true. From Darren's blog, I stumbled on this other dude's blog. His name is Dale. He's fucking funny.
http://dalebridges.org/blawg/
I love Dale.
http://dalebridges.org/blawg/
I love Dale.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Just like Chong...
Well, I am finally getting my groove back…back injury is behind me and, as of tomorrow, I will be all caught up in my C25k program…so here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for – playlist time!
What makes a song a good “running” song? The answer is obviously very personal. One of my running buddies just needs a good rhythm to keep her feet moving. Others probably need inspirational lyrics to boost their spirits. Because spirits can definitely sag while you’re out there running…sag, sag, sag…But for me, it’s all about the bass line. I need a bass line that pushes. It can be repetitive, but it must drive. Without it, I am hopelessly unmotivated. And that pushing bass line can arrive wrapped in a surprising package. This is a partial listing from my running playlist…
The obvious picks:
Garbage – As Heaven Is Wide, Bad Boyfriend, & I Think I’m Paranoid
Shirley Manson’s growling voice over classic rock rhythms
The Smashing Pumpkins – Ava Adore - can’t go wrong with Billy
U2 – Bullet the Blue Sky, Discotheque, Get On Your Boots, Gloria, Electric Co, Hawkmoon 269, Like A Song, Magnificent – and is it OK that I picture my darling Larry Mullen instead of Bono?
Muse – Uprising – great bass line AND empowering lyrics – a plus!
The “new” stuff:
Franz Ferdinand – No You Girls – the rhythm of this song makes me walk
with more pep! It definitely propels the jogging!
Finger Eleven – Paralyzer – doesn’t everyone want to affect someone
like that girl gets to him?
Silversun Pickups – Panic Switch – simply a great tune!
The “silly” stuff:
Matthew Sweet – Break My Stride – classic 80s chemical cheese
Ricky Martin - Cup of Life – has already been discussed
They Might Be Giants – Don’t Let’s Start – just listen to it & you’ll know
No Doubt – Hella Good – can help you feel good even when you most
certainly DO NOT
The “surprise” packages:
Tori Amos – Caught a Lite Sneeze & Cornflake Girl – up-tempo but
relaxing, good for remembering not to get too tight in the legs/butt
Ice Cube – Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster – ‘nuff said
Fiona Apple – Fast As You Can – rhythm and lyrics keep you moving
Ween – Voodoo Lady – great, great song – keeps me going & laughing
Cypress Hill – Hits from the Bong – seriously, have you HEARD it lately?
It has the same affect on me that the Tori Amos tracks have, but
magnified by the power of suggestion! What’s better than a mental
“hit from the bong?” OK, yeah sure, but I’m not into that!
I’ll leave you with some choice words…
Pick it, pack it
Fire it up, come along…
Sing my song, puff all night long
As I take hits from the bong…
Don't get me stirred up the smoke, through the bub-bling water
Is makin' it pure so I gotta, take my hit and hold it
Just like Chong, I hit the bowl and I reload it
Get my four-footer and bring it on
As I take hits from the bong
Hits from the bong
Gonna get high
Hits from the bong
Gonna get high
Hits from the bong
Gonna get high
See? Told you it was personal…now you’ve been a little too far inside my mind.
What makes a song a good “running” song? The answer is obviously very personal. One of my running buddies just needs a good rhythm to keep her feet moving. Others probably need inspirational lyrics to boost their spirits. Because spirits can definitely sag while you’re out there running…sag, sag, sag…But for me, it’s all about the bass line. I need a bass line that pushes. It can be repetitive, but it must drive. Without it, I am hopelessly unmotivated. And that pushing bass line can arrive wrapped in a surprising package. This is a partial listing from my running playlist…
The obvious picks:
Garbage – As Heaven Is Wide, Bad Boyfriend, & I Think I’m Paranoid
Shirley Manson’s growling voice over classic rock rhythms
The Smashing Pumpkins – Ava Adore - can’t go wrong with Billy
U2 – Bullet the Blue Sky, Discotheque, Get On Your Boots, Gloria, Electric Co, Hawkmoon 269, Like A Song, Magnificent – and is it OK that I picture my darling Larry Mullen instead of Bono?
Muse – Uprising – great bass line AND empowering lyrics – a plus!
The “new” stuff:
Franz Ferdinand – No You Girls – the rhythm of this song makes me walk
with more pep! It definitely propels the jogging!
Finger Eleven – Paralyzer – doesn’t everyone want to affect someone
like that girl gets to him?
Silversun Pickups – Panic Switch – simply a great tune!
The “silly” stuff:
Matthew Sweet – Break My Stride – classic 80s chemical cheese
Ricky Martin - Cup of Life – has already been discussed
They Might Be Giants – Don’t Let’s Start – just listen to it & you’ll know
No Doubt – Hella Good – can help you feel good even when you most
certainly DO NOT
The “surprise” packages:
Tori Amos – Caught a Lite Sneeze & Cornflake Girl – up-tempo but
relaxing, good for remembering not to get too tight in the legs/butt
Ice Cube – Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster – ‘nuff said
Fiona Apple – Fast As You Can – rhythm and lyrics keep you moving
Ween – Voodoo Lady – great, great song – keeps me going & laughing
Cypress Hill – Hits from the Bong – seriously, have you HEARD it lately?
It has the same affect on me that the Tori Amos tracks have, but
magnified by the power of suggestion! What’s better than a mental
“hit from the bong?” OK, yeah sure, but I’m not into that!
I’ll leave you with some choice words…
Pick it, pack it
Fire it up, come along…
Sing my song, puff all night long
As I take hits from the bong…
Don't get me stirred up the smoke, through the bub-bling water
Is makin' it pure so I gotta, take my hit and hold it
Just like Chong, I hit the bowl and I reload it
Get my four-footer and bring it on
As I take hits from the bong
Hits from the bong
Gonna get high
Hits from the bong
Gonna get high
Hits from the bong
Gonna get high
See? Told you it was personal…now you’ve been a little too far inside my mind.
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